i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize