I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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