We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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