Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Buhtt sex?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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