how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
