I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
