Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
