I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
