i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
