you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize