I didn't shave. On purpose
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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