Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
