I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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