I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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