I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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