If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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