Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
the raccoons are back...
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