Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
