she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your penis caused this!
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