I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
