she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
