she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
