i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
