I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize