I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
