I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
