Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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