5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
