My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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