I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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