ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
it hurts more in the daytime
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
