just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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