I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
