I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
