yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
