at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
