it's like heaven, but drunker
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
