Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
