just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize