Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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