This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
