I wanna bring you to show and tell
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
