Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
