Can i not drive my cunt home
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
