We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
