isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
