im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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