i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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