jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
