through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
