Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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