it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
