My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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