okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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