I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
