I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
