Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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