Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize