he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
