Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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