In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
