I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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