Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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