I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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