you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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