Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
