you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
